I've been wanting to write this for three or four days - really for weeks since this section (of Shirley Fairies) was lost along with all the associations I noted at the time.
Recently I have come to the conclusion that I have been so far down this little tunnel that I have not been focused enough or allowed for the bigger picture. The whole point of going ahead with writing about the fairy appearances in "Shirley" was a spell to deflect the seemingly impending possibility of war between America and North Korea. As I write this, now, I believe it is a replay of the same episode of "The Flying Nun" that I was watching while I wrote this the last time, where Bobbye Star has taken refuge in the convent to escape Mr. Kane, her "boss" or something - sounds like she's trying to make him jealous? I missed the beginning, then, and maybe it is a different, similar episode, but it seems like it is now about where I started to see it, before. The fact that it can't likely have the same resonance and connections that I noted, last time, does not make me sad, anymore, to have lost those notes, last time, but reminds me they aren't "important" or would maybe rather remain hidden.
But the whole point, to take my time with this in faith that there will be no war, even the belief that magic in this helps avert war, made me both eager to continue and relaxed to wait for the right time.
Then three days ago there was the announcement from North Korea that they would attack Guam with missiles in 4 days, or would under certain conditions - some sort of statement. Since then there was back and forth with Trump saying he would unleash "fire and fury and frankly power" upon North Korea and many other threats. In the news of the next few days they reported the most senior people in the Trump administration contradicting him and saying diplomacy was still the course to take. China got involved and basically got what they wanted out of Trump - favorable trade deals in agreement to "reign in" North Korea. And Kim Jong Un got just what he wanted, too. After meeting with President Xi of China, with reports that he and Trump were "extremely close", Trump changed his tune and talked more of a peaceful solution - but this just happened today. As I predicted this whole time Trump just played into Kim Jong Un's hands - Trump is "praised" as a "Huge Troll" but the truth is you have to be really smart to be a REALLY good troll and if you are that smart it's more likely or only takes a little awareness to make you too smart for trolling altogether. Trump is a troll but like most trolls he doesn't really know how much of a troll he is because he is actually proud of it, not putting on as most Internet trolls do, and is therefore a tool of a Larger Troll - or can become the victim of "Better, Smarter Trolls" as happened with North Korea.
It turns out that only the generals in North Korea were making statements about attacking Guam. Kim Jong Un, personally, had made no statement on the subject. apparently. In most international discourse nations respond to each other with similarly positioned people - but in this case statements of the generals got the attention, and response, from President Trump. He got trolled and fell for it the whole way. Of course they could count on him being hot-headed and making a hot-headed response. So they trolled him. And it worked - he got mad, everybody got scared, North Korean officials - but still not Kim Jong Un, I believe, got to respond to his tantrum by calling him bereft of reason. China gets a favorable deal with Trump, not "really" under threat of force but by slyly playing off the false tension created. And then in the end Kim Jong Un gets to look like the Reasonable Leader, especially relative to Trump, by just not attacking after all.
The Non-Violent way always wins. If I had written this two or three days ago, like I wanted to, I could have felt like Trump's meeting with China, switching to talking of a peaceful solution, was all "predicted" or magically influenced by what I wrote. But I couldn't find my DS with the book Shirley in it to redo that part, the Shirley notes, at least one more notecard of them. And if I had then I would have missed some of the synchronistic, magical events that happened since then.
I've had numerous events in my own life in this time period, too - a couple weeks ago I was rear-ended by a drunk driver, knocking me out and totaling my car, an awesome 1990 Volvo that probably saved my life that night. It all turned out okay, a good friend even gave me his old car and another one let me borrow his - and that relates to this blog - but other than that the most significant things I want to mention was quitting smoking cigarettes from 7-7-17 to 7-11-17 and also on 8-2 and 8-8 and maybe a few other days but I really want to quit completely.
The reason the car fits into this gagablog, this discussion of media magic, is that for months since getting a new battery in my Volvo I have not had radio in my car so I got almost completely out of the habit of paying attention to the news for months. Then I borrowed my friend's car and left the radio on the right-wing talk radio station he had on, listening to it for about a week. There were a few things I wanted to mention about it but less that makes the "cut" of importance, now. But one night they were complaining about rainbow crosswalks for most of one show I was listening to at night and then in the kitchen that night at work they played two songs with a magical connection to the discussion on the radio in my car, by the selection of my coworkers: "Rainbow in the Dark" by Ronnie James Dio and a Hopsin song called "Nocturnal Rainbow" - maybe the streaming service connected them or maybe it was just one of those magical things but I noted it because of the overnight discussion on talk radio about rainbow crosswalks, in the dark of night.
The only other thing I want to say, now, about talk radio is most of the commercials were for truckers, late at night. One of them advertised a free trucker magazine and mentioned some of the stories in it that week, including that "in states where marijuana has been legalized state enforcement and testing resources have been stretched to the breaking point" which sounds like complete bullshit continuation of the right-wing demonization of weed. But in the evening time they play commercials to a different, non-trucker, right wing audience, too. I felt I should watch the opening skit on SNL tonight, seemed to be a rerun, but "Trump" tells the local Kentucky audience that in his America men will only work in two places, coal mines and Goldman Sachs. The "rich" or investor class right wingers were targeted by another commercial, earlier in the day on talk radio: "Invest in Marijuana industries before you wish you had because everyone in it is getting super rich!" was the main message. These "two sides" of the "weed debate" show one schism upon which the right will fall - like Jesus, weed is a sword that will turn people possessed of evil notions against each other - because there is no integrity in those notions. There is nothing good about being opposed to such a blessed plant, just reveals how misled you are.
And people are showing up to reveal how misled they are all on their own, now, in Trump America. The other news I would have missed if I had written this - "that's some powerful cigarette juice" the investor says when he sees Sister Batrille flying - is that the Unite the Right movement gathered KKK, Neo-Nazi and others in Charlotte to protest the upcoming removal of a statue of Robert E. Lee. Antifa and other protestors showed up to counter-protest them. The first news report I heard was that police broke them up - "you're under arrest" the policeman just said on The Flying Nun - "Its a good hing for you, and for me, that I'm behind bars at the moment!" he just told Sister Batrille. "I don't know how our juice turned into wine..." - after clashes between KKK and Neo-Nazis and Antifa who protested them. Then the news today was that a supremacist terrorist drove his car into a crowd of Antifa and killed one girl and wounded 19 more people. They arrested him and are trying him for murder. There have not been many more details but the story went from the last one mentioned on the BBC international broadcast, which I still was struck by since I feel they try to downplay this stuff, generally, to the first story they mention, since the car attack. It's the main news story, internationally, even with new Trump threats against Venezuela and post-election strife in Kenya.
One person on the radio mentioned that Trump was pre-empted from continuing to threaten Korea or Venezuela by "domestic events" meaning the domestic terrorism by the KKK. Of course this is chickens coming home to roost and there's much more roosting ahead. Trump's response was awful - I do appreciate him saying that we need to have genuine affection for each other, etc - but the first thing he said was that there was "bigotry and hatred - on many sides, on many sides"- as if he was saying the Antifa protestors share the guilt and blame that the KKK do -and some people believe this, they just don't realize that it makes them de facto KKK just like not all Germans were Nazis but too many were complicit. So Trump has revealed himself, he can't insult his base, the KKK. And people will respond to that.
Just as he can no longer hide what he really represents, to his supporters, to the world, so people who may have tried to ignore it or give him the benefit of the doubt or say he was only acting racist to win votes will be confronted with the fact that he is a true racist and sympathizes only with the white Supremacists. He thinks he was cleverly hiding this but basically said it all by refusing to specifically condemn the KKK, Neo-Nazis, and other right-wing - who in case you didn't know have ALWAYS been the problem by ruling with violence and fear, usually with support of Government in various forms.
In my view the KKK and similar hate groups, supremacist societies, have been running this government all along -and kept it mostly hidden from the populace. Electing Trump made a minority of hateful people who think they are far more numerous than they really are act like they were "taking over" again - because these usually poor white people have been sold the idea that "others" have taken their jobs and deprived their lifestyles, etc. The truth is War impoverishes us all but they distract us with division and inner fighting so we don't shut it down. But since these people are acting like they have to "take over", they think Now is their Chance, they are messing it up for the Supremacists that have ALWAYS been in power by exposing them. Trump can't speak against them and will be raked over the coals for it.
And at the same time more and more countries' leaders are calling him Crazy and Irrational. I made the comment yesterday how much it was like the book 1984 going to "imaginary" wars with Europa and Eurasia, Russia then China/Korea, etc - and later that day the news is that Trump is now threatening Venezuela with military action. The news tonight was that the leaders of Mexico, Peru, Colombia and maybe others, who have all been critical of Venezuela up to this point, have now united in opposition to this statement by Trump and indicated they will coordinate regional resistance to us - we basically united South America against us, in one day, just because Trump hadn't gotten all his aggression out yet by threatening North Korea with worse destruction than ever seen before - which would mean more than the nuclear bombs we dropped on Japan, presumably.
There was a story that he was having sex with a staffer - just a rumor, but she looks like a vampire in the picture so I had to share the story for THAT angle - and it just makes me wish he would have sex with someone, fast, before he blows us all up.
But no one should have to have sex with someone like that or anyone who is at all like that - we are choosing sides in America and the Fascist gene is being weeded out of the culture. They make it easy by marching in a big group, posting on facebook, etc. We will all take different stands against them and some of the best will be online, making fun of them so much that no one thinks they are a "Silent Majority" but realize they have all just been duped by hatred and fear.
I hope they end up hugging it out in South Carolina instead of starting the second Civil War there but it could go either way, or some other way. The Fairy Way always twists away ""never ever try to do honesty with a man, they just don't know how to cope with it" Gidget just said.
I'm going to do my part by smoking a bowl and casually, but quickly, i hope, recording some of the notes for the third, of probably four, section of fairies in Shirley while watching tonight's batch of old TV reruns and mentioning any correlations.
One media magic event I took a fresh note on was after an argument with my lover I realized I was acting like a 'kid" - in a bad way, though, like a brat. I would not usually say anything bad about being associated with a kid but in this case I felt that way because I was being whiny about some deep issue I have from childhood, I believe. And the TV shows that evening, while I was being this way but not realising how to change, was an Andy Griffith show about a spoiled brat who got his bike taken away then his dad thought he could whine or threaten Andy into giving it back which of course didn't go well, Andy gave him a responsibility speech or said something that made the Father realize what an ass he had been -"you'd rather have your father in jail to get your bike back?" and the kid cried and yelled "My dad's not scared of you, or jail" etc and the dad realized he had spoiled him.
The other episode that night was Bewitched where Tabitha turned a man into a boy to have a playmate and they had trouble changing him back. He got to where he enjoyed being a kid and didn't want to go back so Samantha reminded him of his adult girlfriend and changed his mind.
Gidget just revealed that she sometimes writes her diary in advance and makes stuff up when it's not exciting enough - this is like the "4 days until we attack" and every other "threat" lately.
I was going to start this edition by saying "how this all works" - just that it reflect connections between everything if you are open to them, that seeing those connections play out before you can allow you to alter things with your attention. "Psychologists have the weirdest notions about sex - they think it makes you nervous, makes you overeat...Too bad you can;t be born with maturity and lose it later on when you don't need it anymore? I wonder if thinking about this stuff makes me a philosopher? I hope not, I'm too tired for all that jazz."
Now she is saying "the only, the Only way to go steady" is to see other people while her boyfriend Jeff is away at Princeton - because it shows you will always be with each other with no worries. I could get sucked into this episode so I will do the fairy notes and mention it as needed.
Oh, also it took me so long to write this that I finished reading Uncle Tom's Cabin about a week ago. That's all i will say about that, now, it really sucked in so many ways but I had to do it.
This book, Shirley, is the first one with an Indigo cover, from the right, on the virtual "shelf" of the DS game. I feel I should mention the other titles of that same color: Robinson Crusoe, which I believe I read 10-20 years ago in paperback and was reminded by reading "The Moonstone" on my DS, the last time I had a crush on a blond-haired girl I worked with. Adam Rede I haven't read, White Fang I read in elementary school but not since, and Love's Labour's Lost which I never read. Gulliver's Travels I read on the DS about a year or 3 ago.
Gidget can't get any of her crowd to date her since she keeps talking about how much faith she has in her boyfriend that no one else would really matter to her, so she decides to go out with a boy from another crowd, a Tarantula. Now she wants her brother-in-law to go with her, but act like a Tarantula, and he is getting excited about it to write a paper on teenagers.
I'll skip the "bearnie" reference on page 4686.
4716 - "west wind" - "crowned by God's blessing, sent in the pure west wind blowing soft as fresh through the ever-open chamber lattice" - there is a window commercial on, now, following a lawyer commercial with weird whispering in the background. Messages, blessings, come on the wind.
4728 - Ground bees burrowing under "an old cherry tree" and the "haunts of certain hedge-sparrows" - those who admire and get into the dwellings and pockets of nature are how people become sensitive to fairies and magic. The love of nature is the love of magic
4805 - "In showing my treasure I may withhold a gem or two, a curious, unbought, graven stone,an amulet of whose mystic glitter I rarely permit even myself a glimpse." Magic, Love. Gidget's sister is worried about her husband on a date with Gidget after she meets some of her friends who will be at the party, "some of the cutest sexteen year old girls - I mean sixteen" - and one of them asks Gidget if she is bringing "fresh blood to the orgy". She turns to the camera and says she would like to say it all went fine, but also would like to be Miss America and the first woman on the moon. One of her friends in named Treasure. she leaves the party and is immediately seen in a group dancing scene afterward, in two places at once. Now Partridge Family came on so I can ignore it better.
Magic, love, we hide it from ourselves.
4864-5 - Feeding birds: "the small brown elves actually remembered that I fed them the other day" and "Eager little sprites, i have not a crumb for you>" Again his relationship, communication with nature and animals is Also with fairies.
4934 - "Study carefully, not only books but the world. You love Nature; love her without fear."
He then tells him, Henry, that he will not be a soldier or a sailor but "you will be an author -perhaps a poet." This is all of it, really - pay attention, love nature, don't be a sailor of a soldier, art is better, be your best, be an artist.
4988 - "Is she not a kind of a white witch?" I changed to a Robocop cartoon and someone just said "he's part human - that's the part we could lose." Maybe witches, like me, are different from other people, maybe we help each other out of humanity or maybe we help restore humanity, depending on what you think that means and whether we're liked or not, good or bad. They were talking about how she had "a curious charm." It is now 5:12 AM and I have a lot of energy - I want to finish this and play some Splatoon or Zelda before I go to sleep.
5018 - "Fortune is proverbially called changeful, yet her caprice..." Women. Gotta love em.
5136 - "Neither Calypso nor Eucharis cared to fascinate Mentor." I looked this up last time and forgot what it was about, skipping it now.
5175 - "yonder sky was sealed; the solemn stars shone alien and remote." I noted "alien" because I wonder what it meant to them, then -just different? - and also the nature connection, cosmic nature, reminding me of the two super-bright and sparkly shooting stars I saw while driving the last two nights and I will go out for a smoke break and see if the clouds have cleared before the sun comes up in a few minutes. - No shooting stars spotted to Im returning to this version of my wish for peace, the assumption that the world has time for me to keep writing about this, then write my own stories more.
5191-3 - "the bridal-hour of Genius and Humanity" is described in this way: "Her eye received no image; and yet a sense visited her vision and her brain as of the serenity of stainless air, the power of sovereign seas, (as I typed that a Playmobile cartoon character said "the Chameleon has to be deep in water to transform into...") the majesty of marching stars, the energy of colliding elements, the rooted endurance of wide-based hills, and above all, as of the lustre of heroic beauty rushing victorious on the Night, vanquishing it's shadows like a diviner sun." This is after she has been embraced like a lamb and a voice, "all-pervading, vibrated through her heart like music." This is the mystical experience of elements and being.
5232 - "a lowly nymph develops to an inaccessible goddess" then he calls her Olympia. We all do this, if only someone wants us to. This is fairy divinity within all of us and a potential of all of us, of them, when we get into it - he may have been mocking but some of the best truths are in jokes when understood inside-out.
5282 - "What did they mean by spirits? She had no spirits, black or white, blue or grey, to affect." She doesn't have them but objects specifically to hypothetical colors of the ones she doesn't have - I just wrote a comic book about "spirits" in various colors coming out of a girl and my friend is drawing it, very exciting!.
5348 - "when Confusion and Submission seemed about to crush me with their soft tyranny." When the Mother Superior asked Bobbye how she was with dictation she replied she was used to democracy - I don't know if that was on last time I wrote this part but I just remembered it since the episode was on a few hours ago. He refuses to let his love for her overwhelm him -and wins her in the end, spoiler alert ("If you win you're the leader" they just said on Playmobile.) Am I wrong, unnatural, to want to be able to express overwhelming love for someone without it resulting in being taken for granted, dismissed, or shunned? I don't want to "win" but maybe you have to? I like to think this guy is wrong, generally, unless he is waxing poetic about fairies.
5460 - "steady as a rock, fixed as the Polar Star" Just star-fairy connections, I guess - but there's more: "and see a fine, perfect rainbow, bright with promise, gloriously spanning the beclouded welkin of life." But this fairy symbol is in contrast to the constancy of the star, suggesting her love might fade, which she responds is still his own changes, not hers -its rather romantic. the love between Star and Rainbow.
5501 - "the moon reigns glorious, glad of the gale - as glad as if she gave herself to his fierce caress with love" - now the moon and breeze make love, then "No Endymion will watch for his goddess tonight.." and other mythological references I wont bother looking up again this time.
5520 - "I used to rather like Solitude -to fancy her a somewhat quiet and serious, yet fair nymph; an Oread." I'm going to sing that Sarah MacLaughlin song with the lyric "and Solitude my guide" and have been meaning to since I got the cd at a thrift store about 4 months ago.
5555 - "I myself am not her slave - I declare it - but my faculties gather to her beauty, like the genii to the glisten of the lamp." Artist love - and nothing wrong with being a whole-hearted slave to love, just go with it. Magic page number, too, 5555.
5567 - he says he was "not made so enduring to be married to a lamb" and says he "should find more congenial responsibility in the charge of a young lioness or leopardess." I hate the way he talks sometimes but I can't deny that everyone really wants a sex panther.
5570-1 - Continuing on the same subject about how much he wants to tame his girl: because a "nestling dove" would be "burdensome," "but my patience would exult in stilling the flutterings and training the energies of the restless merlin." King Arthur's Merlin "lived backwards" which is like schizophrenia of future-sight or fairy-sight. Also he calls her "Peri" again here, some djinn, I think.
5577 - "I never witness these things, but I think of the fable of Semele reversed." I looked this up before and as much as I want to do the last 5 on the card and quit for the night I don't want to skip this on, this time. She's Dionysus's mom, a mortal who fucked Zeus, and was destroyed when she asked him to reveal himself - maybe "reversed" makes him feel like he is destroyed by her divine beauty? Or brought into being from oblivion? It's been too long since I read it, now, to recall the context. Then he makes a bunch of other allusions to mythology, to other characters she is not like and that she is like. Interesting how you have to turn to pagan pantheons to get into some things.
At the end of this tour of myths, page 5584, "Saturnia's statue rises..." Then he goes on to his plan to tease her by withholding the keys he has of hers.
5597 - "Disaffection, however, was still heard muttering to himself." Finally someone personified a s a dude. Oh, it's not complimentary, figures.
5655 - "She has a look, at times, of a thing made out of fire and air, at which I stand and marvel, without a thought of clasping and kissing it." Fire and Air = Fairy. Fairy is in all sorts of forms but this is one way of kind of saying it, and saying it seems to ethereal for physical form, but I think this is more his uptightness and insistence on control -he can't give in to the body. "They'll get their bodies before I get mine" a ghost just said on Pac-Man.
5670 - "...would have been vain as void - she would no more have believed me than she would have believed the ghost of Judas had he broken from the night and stood before her." Again, truth in mockery -we may all come to believe the ghost of Judas when he stands before us.
And we may come to understand the mystery and never again get Jesus wrong in such a way that people can claim hatred in his name.
5675 - "You would immolate me to that mill - your Moloch!" She's not his type. She shuts him down pretty hard in the next few pages.
5677 - and she asks, under her breath, "Is it a man, or something lower?" Basically what demon possessed him to think she loved him?
I know the feeling.
I hate the KKK and Neo-Nazis. I know my best magic can be to rid myself of the same power I hate in them and I identify it as "thinking I'm right" and "standing my ground" and "getting upset and whining if I feel I am being disrespected or ignored." Everyone does this, it's called being a brat or an asshole depending on how big you are. I want to cut it out - of myself and therefore mystically out of "them," out of the whole world.
I've been timid to turn on the Internet and see if there is any more news but I will do so, now, at the end of this since I feel I have done my part to seek peace, magically, in this edition. While there can be a positive use of Ego we are seeing in major events what some of the pitfalls and terrors of it can be. There is so much tension in Kenya, apparently, over their election and the "loser" says it was hacked - who knows if that is true or if he can prove it with international expert examination - but if they do what would have to happen to make them apply similar scrutiny to the 2016 American election? It's interesting how these things echo in different places and trying to make something sound a certain way can backfire on you and the reverberations can smash your walls.
I'm hoping for a radical change to come from some of the tragic events we're going through and hoping it happens soon. It WILL happen much sooner than the powers who are trying to hold it back can possibly predict, we will start advancing in leaps and bounds. Now we are just loosening bonds but wait - soon we will have a hand free.
Personally I know i have gotten too far into these details and lost faith in Everyone Else, including Gaga, to help pull us through. But I do have faith in everyone, which does NOT leave it all up to me - that is a trap of the ego.
As I smoked that last cigarette and did not see any shooting stars I remembered thinking, as a teenager and other times, 'why quit smoking if Bush is about to blow up the world?" It is that mild fatalism, depression, that is enough to allow a cigarette habit to persist. But I want to live, well, for all of us to live well, forever. And I will quit smoking.
And smoke a bowl
And I WILL finish Sexxx Dreams, and the rest of Artpop talk - but maybe not hold myself back anymore with "my own unique take" because even if Gaga said it was all directly personal to her actual life it also DOES mean other things, even if I don't know context - because that is how magic works.
I actually remembered a dream a couple weeks ago, about witnessing a ritual in a garage and other things, and remembered the dream this morning -and almost remembered it again just now as I wrote that paragraph about living forever - but I can't remember it now, seems like I asked someone a question.
I have one more card of notes on Shirley Fairies to write and look forward to doing it soon but accept whatever time it works. I've been suckered into linear time - like you have to wait or do things to "get to" other things.
The better Use of Time is to realize that different Times are good for different things and some Times can be doors into much Better Times. But we often get stuck in the same Time we are used to and miss all the other ways we can go and Qualities of Time while ticking off the Quantities. "Time waits for no one" someone just said on this cat cartoon, Scary Larry.
There is a Much Better Time, coming, and those of us who are Up To It can sense it coming and be joyous about it, but we are all going, so we can help the others Up in the meantime.
Thanks, please share and ask any questions this might suggest.
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