It's been over a month (4 months?) since I've written this when I felt, in this Perfect Synchro series, like I would get to writing weekly or even daily. A lot has happened in that month to zoom out and broaden my focus from these details where life, art, and entertainment have echoed each other around me, making notes of how things connect: and I've kept making notes, I kind of want to gather them all up as much as I can find and mention all of them, but first I want to talk about the Bigger Picture.
The Biggest Picture is we are in danger of blowing up the world, eradicating ourselves from the planet, and catastrophic effects of climate change and Donald Trump is who we have to worry about not doing it or finally doing something, waking up - he seems to be the one in place holding our entire race and planet hostage. But maybe he'll wise up. We feel helpless in such a situation and prefer not to think about it, but there IS something we can do, all of us. I call it magic because for all of us there are magical ways of discovering and doing things, different for all all of us but with certain themes, magical themes - and certain goals, most importantly the magical goal of saving us all and bringing us all together.
In my own big picture there was something in my family I tried to mention here but I will edit out, it's not really something I feel comfortable sharing about, but it effected me and made me not want to write this for a while because I didn't know what to say about it. I said what I thought to say and think I will remove it or make it vague instead. But it helped me deal with it when my best friend moved away, it put it in perspective where I can handle that better than I usually would.
And here I've been talking about all sorts of other things - I've been avoiding Gaga now for two years, the Trump years, but I want that to end.
I've been ignoring, neglecting, avoiding, boycotting Gaga since the whole Hillary thing - I chose to boycott everyone who supported Hillary over Bernie, or Jill, and for Gaga I was always, online, trying to get her (or little monsters) to connect with the Bernie campaign, then Jill campaign and had made a "deal" that if they didn't switch over from the whole Hillary/Trump show to support an actual chance out of that mess I would boycott them - so I quit watching Colbert, etc. But I've seen his show a few times since then, saw his "Boat" book and wanted to order it, just last night a friend had it at his house and I even read it. I've broken the boycott. I did break down and buy "Joanne" sometime this year and listened to it once, as I document here, and lately I've been ready to listen to it again, to end the boycott. A Star is Born came out and did well - but I haven't seen it. I want to see it and am thinking about going to see it almost every day now while it is still in the theaters or going to the Elvis theater, our "dollar" theater which costs like $2.50 or $3.50. Gaga made the news and got great reviews for the movie, I'm sure, but I haven't really heard much specifically, except that she should win an Oscar and other awards - so I'm really excited to see it and really happy for her. Summing up my "boycott" just now, remembering those months of online desperation when I felt sure that Bernie was our only hope - until Hillary finished stealing the nomination and it seemed Jill was our only hope remaining to avoid Trump - I do feel "silly" in a way - I even forgot to mention Kill, *Jill, thanks typo fairing *fairies, thanks again - when I first mentioned it - and was totally not planning on mentioning it. As I type that I am reminded to turn on my TV by second Facebook pop-up in 5 minutes telling me I have 99 notifications - now it JUST popped up a third time - still there, I kind of want to screenshot it but I only remember how to do that on a phone anyway I've only done it once or twice on a computer.
So a lot happened. What happened for me, personally, kind of left me with a shock and "excuse" to avoid writing this, to postpone "Perfect Synchro 5" - I'd rather sum up that time, vaguely, instead of going back to 2016 right now. What happened? Well, so I don't forget - in no particular order - I was at the mall 3 times and each time, while walking around the same corner, from the Gamestop / Foodcourt area towards the Lego Store - they were playing a Gaga song. I'm pretty sure the first time it was... no I forget, could have been "Edge of Glory" or that was the second time, the third was "Just Dance." I do wish I was writing these regularly, and making them short and sweet, but I guess I am glad I have "so much to say". Except that of course some of it is bad and scary - there was the worst fire in California history and another one in Malibu and Gaga made the news because she was evacuated - I think her house was spared I heard Neil Young and Miley Cyrus and others lost their Malibu homes, but I haven't heard anything else about it. Except one thing - I was going to mention how I was taking the message that she was evacuated - because it struck me that Gaga almost always makes the news on her own terms - facebook just reminded me a 4th time - I guess they will keep doing that every time a new one pops up - and this time she was "making the news" just like everyone else as a fire victim. But before I could write about that she did make the news on her own terms, with an act of her own choosing - she delivered pizza to a shelter for Californians displaced by the fire. I don't say it that way because she did it to make the news, I imagine she just thought it was a sweet and wonderful idea and takes advantage of the fact that it will make the news. I know she's known to get pizza for her little monsters waiting in line to see her, too, it's kind of a theme. It's the first thing I attempted to share on social media after my first 30-day ban from facebook expired, and the only thing I've done there since then, too, until sharing a random gagablog, #36, there just before writing this. I'll get back to the ban / boycott later - but it's no surprise it should be caught up in all this "boycott" magic especially if I'm drawing it to an end - facebook's agenda / structure was the whole reason I was trying to tell "Berners" and "Greens" about the Gaga connection - since we were always talking politics there (6th notification, just now) it seemed to make sense to get their focus on the idealism and magic, to mention it to little monsters in their life - but I see now how I was playing into facebook's game to corral all the likeminded folks under false shepherds who scattered and diverted their flocks - I should have just been in little monster groups trying to talk politics with them until it became obvious to most of us how many ways we are allied with the progressive movement. But nevermind - that is to say allowing Trump and all this evil to continue is more my fault than Gaga's or Colbert's or anyone who was in any way duped into the idea that Hillary was our only chance to avoid Trump. I could have played that all differently and I'm trying to shift my own shortcomings onto others but I want to take a higher road, now..
It's time to claim and use all the most powerful magic we have. I will stop digressing, if I can, and get to some points.
I quit writing for a month because of a surprising incident in my family - I don't want to go into the details. I was going to, that is, but then this happened and it just threw me off. On the radio, for weeks, had been a commercial for an interview with a local comedian who had a lot of national, international, Netflix, I think, success, and (7th notification - 8th right after I finally just exxed it out) and his sister had committed suicide. I didn't want to hear it but every time I heard the ad it made me think how bad I felt that I had lost touch with my family - we hadn't spoken in months. But it didn't remind me to call them. At the time there were news stories about psychadelic drugs, mushrooms curing depression, and experts talking about how they light up parts of the brain, etc - all the details were perfect for Perfect Synchro series and I felt like they were the worlds magical response, reward, for me mentioning psychedelics in my last gagablog. And meanwhile the commercial to hear the interview about the book this guy wrote, "Tragedy Plus Time", was a reminder to call my family, but I have some "excuse" to not do it when I can. And I hold myself back in ways I want to learn this same "lesson" from - mainly that I am so eager to blame someone else. I could have called my family more. I didn't have to blame someone else I could have accepted that things hurt sometimes, things hurt because of things we've done and feel bad for, need to atone for, etc, but as long as we think we could always do it later, we don't. We take it for granted that we, or others, will be around instead of seeking forgiveness, or to forgive them, while we can.
George H. W. Bush died and it seemed like the days of media attention were all one message: "See? 'Everyone' will love you, eventually, at least all say nice things about you, IF you aren't a total unmitigated asshole" - and I always thought both Bushes were big enough assholes that I won't ever be "nostalgic" for them but I get it, lets use a funeral to make fun of Trump, whatever. I'm disappointed the Democrats can't put up a stronger opposition to such openly rapist, racist, obvious KKK Nazis.
Oh, right, Facbook: facebook banned me for 3 days for no given reason but it happened when I was sharing the story about Joe Manchen voting to confirm Kavanaugh - I had shared it about 4 or five times and was sharing it again and was booted for three days. About a week later, in time that a 30 day ban would keep me off facebook through the midterms, I got my first 30-day ban. The 3 day ban was my first "actual" ban - facebook did a LOT to censor me in 2016 but never an official ban. This is how I got it: I was in Star Wars Sithposting - a "shitposting" group where people generally talk a lot of shit and has a preponderance of Imperials, or Nazis, or whatever they call themselves, Trumpers. Well, I had posted a meme in comments, Spidey pointing at Spidey, "When the cops show up at the KKK rally" and someone I've never noticed before replied "Shitty meme" to which I, naturally, said "you're just jealous that it is better than you and your entire white trash family for 17 generations." I was banned within minutes and got the screenshot that it was for that comment. I asked for reviews - it wasn't harassment, it was our first interaction, and if "white trash" meets the level of "hate speech" I think they have a white bias because they allow lots of other slurs. It fits with my conclusion that facebook VERY intentionally uses censorship to PROTECT White Supremacists, Russian Patriarch Trolls, etc, then pretends they don't - "We didn't know this was happening" - I've known from experience how much effort and sneaky tactics they do to suppress progressive thought but they are finally getting busted for being straight Nazi - and no surprise since Nazi, Neo-Nazi, and KKK preferred results have been all that is produced, in America, Europe, Brazil, and elsewhere, I'm sure, ever since they "influence" has been so dominant.
And they moved into an office here in Denver - "facebook uses censorship to protect Nazis and fascists" would fit on a signboard but I think I need to refine it before I protest them in person.
I can guarantee you, as a psychic fairy witch and as a person who is intuitive and just pays attention, that the "protest" within facebook that it "discriminates against employees expressing right-wing views" is a ruse, a scam, probably written by that Gordon Luntz loser - you know what I mean - there is ONLY discrimination against the left on the actual platform, its TOTAL all-out promotion of right-wing agendas - just call that their algorithm but rest assured there are ACTUAL living Nazis who might not call themselves Nazis but who are doing Nazi work by deciding who gets banned, etc, in individual cases. And it's obvious that is their agenda. So they have a fake protest of their "right wing employees" - just like the whole Trump phenomenon is the whining of the privileged racist whites pretending that if they protest against "racism against white people" their "victimhood" will trump actual victims of their racist institutions. Its a ruse, the same way Trump pretends he is "bullied" by the media.
My first post when facebook let me back on was going to be the screenshot of the "report" for saying White Trash and calling them out for protecting White Supremacists - and I kind of don't want my whole account deleted and I'm kind of just lazy and more than any of that I'm ready to transfer any "boycott magic" energy to facebook: in the month since I have been banned the head of their communications has resigned and "admitted" (claimed) that he was the ONLY one who hired some Nazi agency, Directions, or something, Diversions, to discredit anyone who was criticizing facebook over letting Russian hackers make Trump seem popular. I think another bigwig at the company was arrested or had his documents seized in Europe over the Cambridge Analytical scandal.
These are signs of what is to come, Justice, I just want to go ahead on record and call them the Nazis they are, KKK, point out they were in collusion with Trump and the Russians all along - they know where Rubles come from.
Anyway, I quit smoking cigarettes, too - I had set it up as a spell to End All War -or in the meantime end the NRA, when I quit smoking. I got 2-3 days into it, finally actually quitting again, and Bush died. I must have started smoking around 1988 so "end of an era" etc - a nice magical reminder that as long as Bush, etc, was plaguing America I was plaguing myself with cigarettes, too, but no more. Ok I will go out and finish one that I smoked a little of yesterday, now - but I really want to quit and don't want to do ANYTHING to hold up the collapse of patriarchy. The next day some bigwig navy general in the Middle-East died, too - it made the news but they said not due to foul play, supposedly. But I really want to quit smoking, completely, and see the collapse of Patriarchy coincide with that in a major way.
Just exposing, busting, taking over facebook would be one significant sign in that vein - but I'm thinking bigger, too - I need to write that book about Aliens, and ghosts and fairies and angels etc - before it's Too Late! That is, before its not Early anymore - its fun to tell people things and then they come true!
So We HAVE to know that the evil Patriarchal system is collapsing but we can't take it for granted, we have roles to play and most likely discover, first. I can write things and make them happen, for instance, but it always works the BEST when I'm writing the best possible things - I hold myself back because I'm not feeling my best but just going for it makes everything better - especially when you're into using talents and gifts for their magical powers.
I never wanted to say really how I felt the "last time I had a crush" - I think I knew that it was mostly magic, not any kind of love from the girl I thought I liked. I can even say that now and not feel like a "betrayal" or whatever, like I'm afraid I'm jinxing it - love is way more than we can think it is and the ways we try to think about it are always going to come with more lessons - 9th notification. I wonder if I will go back on facebook after this or continue Boycott them, shift my boycott from Gaga and other Artists to this Network that actually deserves it because it knew what it was doing all along. I could have seen her last night and I just didn't feel like - I feel like she accepted me being nice to her and liked it but never liked ME at all and it hurts my feelings, that's I guess all I have to say. I kind of wish I had written about the way it made me feel to have a crush back when I had it, because the feelings were good, the inspiration it gave me was good, but it made me sad to not be able to show it to anyone, no one wanted to read it. I can feel that way about hypothetical art or books I might write or make but to have the one person you want to read something not read it, oh well. It just feels like there is no way they could ever appreciate you.
What was I saying? Bush Dies, Trump looks like a big buffoon. But why can't we call him out, more, for being KKK? Because to do so would show how badly we need to do the opposite of what he does? I forgot to smoke that cigarette. It's 9-11 on my computer, really 10:10 - I forgot to turn on the TV, too.
I took a few drags and smoked a bowl instead "Money isn't everything the best things in life are free" Danny just said on The Partridge Family, then gave his sister all his Spider-Man comics, etc - he's having an operation. Stan Lee died - I have too much to say, thanks, Make Mine Marvel, 'nuff said.
I was disappointed in the Democrats for tamping down expectations, running the same ole awful folks like McCaskill, I don't think they wanted to win the Senate, they would have had to stop Trump and they would rather just play the game of fake opposition. But I'm proud of the ones who won, the ones who are still going for it, and proud of Stacey Abrams who did, or would have won, to be the first black female Governor, and the mechanisms they used to stop her she is going on to challenge. Other developments like that WILL reform our system but we all have roles to play.
I'm proud of Jared Polis and Colorado for electing him - he was our first openly gay congressman and is now the nations first openly gay governor and is progressive, supported Bernie, seeks medicare for all, starting with our state, and will help the cannabis revolution, too.
My role is not to get so bogged down in that stuff, the power of words, music, and art is so much greater like living in heaven versus squabbling in hell. I have so many notes from TV shows and radio, mostly, but I've also read, finished reading "The Mystical Path to Cosmic Consciousness" which was pretty good but I think still suffers from some old ways of thinking that you "can't change the world" when it takes mystical knowledge - and certain actions from that - but it does happen. It was a pretty good book and got me more in the mood to write my Aliens book - I kind of feel like I just have to get some of this gagablog "out there" in 2018, specifically to finally finish the Shirley Fairies series - then finish talking about Artpop, finally focus on Joanne and even catch up with A Star is Born, MAYBE, before she has a new album - but I want to get back up to that speed to do it all.
I started talking about the fairies in Shirley as a spell to avert nuclear war with North Korea. Now Trump and Kim Jong Un are best friends, lovers even. I half-drew my coloring book about Kim saving the world and I want to finish that, too, before the year's end. But the "important thing" is that North and South Korea have committed to "ending the war" before the end of the year - if only America will let them.
This is a model for all of our relations - we, as individuals, as souls, when we can see each other that way, just need to resolve things and build trust between ourselves. Nations can do this between their "individual" selves, too - but the path of "Sovereignty" and "America First", the path of "Nationalism" is merely a method to keep a bullying system in place where some are Above others and make their decisions for them. In any argument two people, two sides, can come to mutually beneficial agreement, UNLESS one of them has some "higher power" they are answering to.
Another example of this in recent news is the shifting political dynamic - supposedly, or theater of the same - regarding Saudi Arabia killing that Journalist. Trump is on their side, so is Putin. At the recent summit the media pointed out Putin and Trump "ignoring" each other and Putin joking and laughing with MBS - they can be openly chummy about their ability to kill with impunity. Trump can't laugh along because it makes him look bad but they're all on the same team. They can think they will 'always get away with it" but they could just turn the world against them, or if the rest of the world is just faking indignation about it they could end up with the real People of the world turned against them, too. They are supposedly having a summit to really address climate change, now, for the next week or so. They will presumably come out with some plan that they have calculated will appease people to believe they are finally addressing the problem - but if the People, if the World, is not convinced, it could easily be the trigger to taking over the entire world, from Every government.
Isn't there a riot in France over gas taxes now that threatens to topple the government? Isn't Brexit just a ruse, distraction - as I initially predicted, they probably just won't go through with it -but surely all the attention wasted on it, if spent another way, could have made better progress towards Green Energy than Macrons Gas Tax ever would?
It's like Russia thinks they are some kind of World Chess Masters who can "win" by weakening every other government, while promoting Autocrats, like we will get back to the Old Days of Czars and Kings. I'm not saying Putin is a COMPLETE dumbass, he might be smart in lots of ways, but when all of those smarts are anchored to an old, unrealizable ideal he's just going to become extremely effective at his own undoing.
If weakening all "liberal" countries by trolling them, etc - they are trying to convince Danny to use a Dancing Bear instead of a whale on The Partridge Family as I type this. Ok, you weaken the EU with Brexit, you weaken America by exposing and electing our White Supremacist core - but if we get rid of that, have a change of heart, we will come back stronger than EVER before, cutting racism and misogyny out of our core. And maybe the EU will stay intact and point out that Brexit was a Russian ploy which would make them stronger than before, too, uniting them against you and all the ways you've promoted fascists in Europe and around the world. A revolution in Brazil, too, to overthrow Balsanaro might be another version of the same lesson. You keep clinging to Power, a patriarchal power of intimidation, violence, and fear, but we the more you "get your way" the more we get sick of it and will ultimately overthrow you.
A cooperative network of governments that actually addresses global warming and saves the planet, probably by also ending war and poverty to make the most of all resources, would deserve to stay in place.
Anything that is just a fake version of that will get overthrown.
Anything that is a return to some Kingdom, Feudal, or Warring Nations model of the world will get super overthrown. Like, we wont be as nice about it, Fearmonger, you'll reap what you sow.
So the Russian game of Preserving Patriarchy, despite all their recent "victories" is a Losing Game. Brexit is a big mess right now partly because it is so complicated - part of their ploy just to waste time and resources and divert focus from real things, a "self"-inflicted ("seeing yourself in Mr Flicker Shirley just said to Danny, who realized he wanted to exploit whales not help them, but now he does) injury - but if all that complication gives them the chance to see it differently, all their "concerns" and examine why Russia, in a ploy to weaken them, would promote it, maybe Britain or whoever they are can form a NEW, more inclusive sense of identity that is not prey to such Supremacist enticements.
Maybe America can, too - well, of course we can. If some leaders actually speak up and call out the fascism, and the system "allows" them or is overwhelmed to let them actually rise to the top, we can reform our government. Otherwise we can just scrap it and start over, if they insist on fascism or fake opposition to it.
"What good is money when Nature needs me?" They got Howard Cosell to put Mr. Flicker on the spot so he would have to donate his song proceeds to the whales, too, because he is on the spot on TV - he looks orange, too. And he said "Land of the home and free of the brave", just a garble of "patriotalk". There was something on the radio about current illegal shark-killing fleets being exposed recently and the news story talked about how all the whale mania in the 80s was instrumental in changing policies and ending most whaling so we would not make them extinct. So thanks for your role in that, this episode, Partridge Family. Spock might never have saved them, too, if not for you.
A lot of my notes on TV mention Donald Trump - a run of shows all mentioned him for some reason a few days in a row, according to the level of celebrity he had in the 80s. Its just weird, "innocent" in a way, to not be all about racism, etc, like his news today (10th notification.)
I feel like I need to give more detail about why my family issues relate to all of this. It made me feel completely silly how much time I had spent thinking about that girl I had a crush on, too, seemed to put that in perspective that I was taking for granted people who were actually IN my life, who I really hoped so strongly would always be part of my life that I guess I took them for granted. And then a month or so later my best friend who I've been friends with for the last 10 years or so, and my bandmate for Foxzen, Calvin, moved away. He would often talk about moving somewhere else and of course I always did my best to talk him out of it. This time I realized that at least we would stay in touch, feeling so out of touch with my family made him just moving away seem not so bad. At least he still wanted to talk with me even if we won't see each other for a while. We never managed to play a show while we lived in the same town - if we manage some success with the band to play a show it will be exciting to find out how, where we will do it. It just means we will have to focus on different ways to make it and maybe that will turn into a unique opportunity. And if its a little harder to focus on making music, as it was when we didn't hang out as much, we can still do it just require more effort, therefore it will mean valuing what we are doing and that focus can make the music even better, really caring about it. Basically not taking it for granted.
I keep wanting to say what the Main Point of this, why its called Perfect Synchro - I guess the message of this one is that while the details and little experiences of life can coincide in ways that make you feel more attune, in tune, with the world, the real connection is with everything, with the whole Big Picture, and you can feel more perfectly in "your part" of it all, which is wonderful, but also involves feeling more perfectly connected with it ALL and sometimes bigger things, world events, can pull you out of your place like a fire calls you to evacuate.
I realize how much this is "not about Gaga" and how I got here and how I want to get back to what I truly believe in: The Goddess, Love, Nature, Art. I've felt like "working a job" has been my "excuse" for decades for not doing my real Work, living my real Life, making art - I've been delivering Pizzas for two years. And I feel good about it, I like it, except I do still feel like I am holding myself back from my real dreams and true destiny - or have a dream, as I did a week ago, about putting my paintings into pizza boxes. But at least I was making paintings, in that dream! And I do have time to write, I wrote a ten page fairy tale over the last month. "Their leader is a beautiful princess and they're going to take my master away" Jeannie just said. And I'm finally getting back to write this "I'm writing a book on Captain Nelson's behavior and a sequel on Healy" the psychiatrist just said. But i need to get Back to Gaga, connected, and not have so much "other stuff" to say here, or say it quickly in shorter installments, in order to have more writing time to write stories and books I have in mind. When Foxzen gets us rich and famous I will have plenty of time to write and also find the right times to make music and art. Just saying that makes me want to wrap this up and get on with it- I just want to mention any notes I can find and feel "caught up" and then the final notes about the fairies mentioned in Shirley.
There was a story about whether people would prefer the superpower of flight or invisibility, how men tended to prefer flight and women invisibility and other connotations of the choices - but I think I wrote about that, and about the next note, Descartes Daughter, and the uncanny valley and if we fear if we qualify as "real" compared to them or how real we are or how mechanical our thinking - but these ideas were brought up again in the Mystical Path to Cosmic Consciousness book, too. And my book, the one I want to write, is about becoming More real - so we don't feel those threats or fears but actually feel as real, as alive, as connected, as we can.
On Oct 2nd there was a Jack Benny Show rerun where he says due to flipping channels we will raise a generation of safe-crackers, and mentions a story he heard during one commercial break that reminds me of how I write this blog, "bibliomancy" with a TV: " A skinny mop fell for a washing machine with an acid stomach and they got two matching cemetery plots"
The comedian who wrote the book about his sister dying was on an hour long interview and I heard a lot of it, focusing on the part where he said he felt she was contacting him and his mom though birds and other signs, especially one kind of bird appearing and poignant or weird times to both of them, talking about it, and a medium telling him she had to talk to him, to pass on messages from his sister. I've always taken signals from birds. For example when my friend and I would take hikes in the mountains, years before we even thought we would make music together, the topic of making a band would come up and inevitable a hawk or two would fly over head, every time. I recently was made aware of the connection between Owls and Hecate and have been paying more attention, noticing more owls in images, got a crystal owl fetish at Denver Pagan pride - then a few nights ago I was driving and an owl swooped down over my car and was flying a few feet in front of my windshield for about a block, lit on a telephone pole and then again on top of a house, where I got a picture of it.
When I felt foolish for not contacting my family and wanted to avoid hearing that program I felt so stupid but decided to listen to it when it came on instead of turning away and I'm glad I did. We stay in touch with people beyond death and that is one way we can become more spiritual, by realizing this.
The Ghost of George Bush seems to be haunting Trump, for instance, in the most metaphorical way - and maybe literally, too. We might all naturally believe in ghosts but talk ourselves out of it, rationalize it away, with the same system we use to rationalize war and greed, etc. If the people you are responsible for hurting or killing start to haunt you, you probably can't keep doing bad things. So if you can make a system to block them out you can prolong injustice.
that system just can live much longer, it's getting exposed.
They're admitting that the object that came into our solar system a few months ago, that was too oblong to make sense to us in any known way, also had its own power, therefore it had to either be an alien ship or part of an old alien ship - there are definitely very advanced alien civilizations, "or were" - but we are truly just at the verge of discovering the whole rest of the universe.
And I want to predict it all to show how natural it all is. And just finish this and the fairies of Shirley and have peace and happiness spreading exponentially through the world with whatever works of love and art are required to make that happen.
On 10-26 there was a rerun of Benson that had an old lady who had met aliens and tells them she also had laser beam eyes that can melt you. "Watch out for her Death ray eyes!" Benson tells the General, who replies "You don't believe in that stuff, do you Benson?" and he says "No" and the General says "Good, everyone knows star people aren't violent."
This is the basic Cosmic Principle, like a principle of conservation, that I have hinted at for years, decades: You can't have interstellar travel until you outgrow violence.
All of our history, as long as I have been alive, has been clinging to a system of violence when all the signs are there that we can, and must, transcend it, including going to other planets - but not with violence. We just have to get over it and we can go, we can truly live. Instead we have entrenched greedy structures keeping the "debate", the doubt, the fear - the Violence in place. This is why in my song "Savior Mom" from 2008, I think, I sing "Lady Gaga's love's for everyone and love is the reason all the little monsters came to life and now it's our season men of violence tried to silence love and hid it so low but Lady Gaga is here with us now so on with the show"
On 10-30 there was a musical celebration of the Musical "Wicked" and I don't want to get into it, it makes me mad, a perversion of Oz as far as I understand it. To be fair, the movie is also a perversion of Oz, slightly, anyway - I have idealistic standards and some things fail to live up to them. Suffice to say now that I have heard some of the songs my intuitive opinion is reinforced.
In contrast, on Halloween the next night they showed an episode of Bewitched where Endora is punishing Darren by making him look like a cliched ugly witch and as part of making the point that that stereotype is rude and wrong Samantha invokes Glinda the Good Witch who is beautiful. On the same day, on the radio on NPR there was a program about stoicism that mentioned their belief that what is Good is beautiful and what is Bad is Ugly. I don't want to get distracted complaining about how Wicked "challenges" this with some kind of "revolt of Brunettes over Blondes" - I want to talk about beauty as the Only Good Desire as I understood from reading Suzuki's "Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind" and the first sign I mentioned of Gaga's divinity in the piece I wrote for my friend's book "The Pomegranate Prophecies" - and my general belief in and devotion to beauty.
There was a story on last night about the #escapethecorset movement in South Korea. They say the #metoo movement had "largely bypassed" South Korea, that it is one of the most beauty-obsessed cultures in the world with the highest per capita expense on cosmetic surgery and also one of the more patriarchal societies with lots of abuse of women and very little punishment for it. They mentioned that the average newscaster age difference was 40 years between men and women, that just last week a female news anchor for the very first time on South Korean TV wore glasses on air. And they mentioned that it is one of the most cyber-connected cultures in the world and that is how the feminist movement is spreading. My understanding is that it is defying patriarchy generally by specifically challenging beauty standards and insisting women don't have to dress up for men. They reported that some South Korean male singing / rapping stars are responding to the movement by saying women who aren't trying to be beautiful aren't real women. They also mentioned that male Korean pop stars are beauty-obsessed and use a lot of cosmetic surgery, too. It makes me want to ask those rappers, etc - are you not real men if you don't get dolled up like the K-Pop stars, too? And it makes me want to question the movement, too - what's wrong with beauty? I feel like I can appreciate the idea almost as much as a male who does not have those experiences can but I still feel uncomfortable with the aspect that "beauty" is "wrong" - I agree it can be misused to exploit people, can be used cruelly. But if the movement is "understood" as anti-beauty, how can you have solidarity with beautiful people? Why should people who want to be beautiful be seen as "against" the cause?
I'm asking because I think there is a greater cause, to liberate the feminine, and beauty, and goodness, and sex, all at once by overturning an evil system built on demonizing them, on demonizing Nature.
The fires in California prove the problem of climate change. Over Thanksgiving weekend the dozen or so government agencies released there report that climate change will basically destroy our economy if we don't address it and at the same time the theme at the climate summit seems to be if we don't do something the whole world is in danger, every government is threatened or wont be necessary if we make ourselves go extinct. Yet Trump, etc, are still trying to deny and distract and do anything except doing anything about it.
My clock says 11:11 so its just after noon. I finished that cigarette and smoked a bowl, reminding me of an incident a week ago when I was "quitting" but had a spare smoke and decided to light it and just as I did the rapper on the radio, a song I'd never heard, said "smoking cigarette after cigarette". And reminded me one of my successful days of going cigarette free was when I rolled four joints first thing in the morning - as I added this in in the editing stage, at almost six PM, my lover is reading the news that Trump's business are all being investigated, finally. For profiting from his presidency, the emoluments clause, I believe. Just another example of his whole presidency being unconstitutional meaning he might have "won" according to the rules but has ruled entirely in defiance of the constitution, every single thing he is trying to do. Which fits in with the next news story from a TV show from the 50's or 60's.
I'm just glad to be catching up, getting through these notes even if it doesn't make sense. or if the sense has to be patched together.
On 11-1 a rerun on The Joey Bishop show his wife is running for office and he wants to trap her and says "do you not agree that anyone who wants to be in politics should know about the constitution? If she doesn't know the constitution they will know she has no business in politics". This statement fits a theme for Trump for his entire presidency but this was the same day that he announced that he could change the 14th Amendment with an executive order. And in the next weeks he got into a fight with Chief Justice John Roberts about "Obama Judges" and "Bush Judges" that every report mentioned Trump fails to understand the most basic things about the constitution.
As I read over this Archie Bunker said he had a dream that George Bush said the only way to fix El Salvador was make it the 51st state...
On 11-30 on the Partridge Family there is a musician who breaks into their house and jams and they hook him up with a lyricist who is weird and writes a song about "Stefani" which reminded me of Gaga but the two musicians being an unlikely pair reminded me of me and Calvin, of Foxzen, just a few days after he moved away. At the end of the show they go on to Hollywood which I took as a good sign even if Calvin is the only one of us who moved away.
On the same day there was a I Dream of Jeannie which I think I mentioned in the gagablog before: its the Day of the Ram and they must go to Mecca to renew her powers - every 2000 years when Jupiter and Mercury line up. The actor who played Klinger on MASH is a Thief, they eventually find the right spot, just in time before getting arrested, and say the magic words: "Bottle to Genie, Genie to Master, Master to Mecca, Ramda" I think it stands out to me in this context of establishing harmony, connection with the natural order, alignment. You can connect with things and the more connected the more powerful you can be, and there are larger frameworks of connection that you align with for whole new worlds of power.
On Archie Bunker's place, now, his lawyer is doing some Casablanca references - reminding me just yesterday 227 did a whole Casablanca episode staring Billie Dee Williams. I should see that movie - and A Star Is Born!
I feel like I've been on the factory floor, just working, maybe trying to persuade anyone to see things differently, but I need to just do my real work, take a role that is more directional of the whole process than just going through the same motions.
I found a few more note cards, notes I may have already mentioned in previous gagablogs, but to be sure I will include them: There was a Family Ties Christmas Carol episode where Jen is the Ghost of Christmas Past and says "Of course I'm a ghost if I was a person I would have come through the door" and I include it because ghosts do typically go through walls, etc. On My Two Dads Nicole asks "Can Santa talk to Angels?" - her parents - and someone says "aren't you tall for an elf?" and "I hope you get the permanent job" - I forgot what that's about / bad notes but now it reminds me of the contrast with "aren't you short for a stormtrooper?" and basically there are good guys, elves, and bad guys, fascists. And all the Good Folk, on all Sides, are on the Same side, calling us to paradise. On Wagon Train they have a Santa and someone asks how he visits without chimneys, I think, and they say Santa comes down the pines in the west. I guess just mystical reality taking whatever form is necessary, not regarding lower concerns. Samantha is trying to give Darren confidence by taking the form of a beautiful French lady and flattering him as I type this. I think I included all of these for notes on Ghosts and Fairies and Angels for my book.
On 10-15 on NPR there was a piece with a singer and rapper talking about growing up playing with the toy car The General Lee from the TV show The Dukes of Hazzard and how it normalized the rebel flag and how he realized that was wrong as he grew up. The next day on a rerun of "Alice" Boss Hogg guest stars and takes over Mel's Diner and makes it the Boar's Head West and there are rebel flags on the tables. That show, both of them, were from the 80's and the same thing is going on today: that guy who ran over people and killed that girl Heather Hayer at the White Supremacist rally in Charlottesville went on trial this week. Trump emphasized good people on both sides or some KKK crap. It's still really obvious how much they are trying to normalize it - IF you know it is wrong. If you notice it it becomes painfully obvious that more people don't oppose it more strongly. But we will - I need to do my part better, write better.
That same day, I think, 10-16-18, they reran a Late Show where Johnny Carson mentions "should we sell AWACS to the Saudis?" - this was from the 80's or early 90's - and it's the same story today. I don't know when, exactly, Trump was "discussing" how far off the table any notion of cancelling arms sales to Saudi Arabia was, they've been dragging out the murder "investigation" so long, which Trump himself called the worst cover up. And he's making it worse. But also everyone is letting him gt away with it, there's way too much condemnation to go around and they haven't all gotten their spots. It was magically noticeable that this episode aired around the time he was nay-saying cancelling military contracts, either the same day or a few days before or after - but the message came from almost 30 years ago. We're just so overdue for learning the lessons of peace.
Supposedly we decided, as a World, after World War 1, and again after World War 2, that we would Never have war again, would end it all. But I guess we are choosing to "forget" that to enrich a few arms dealers. We can't afford another lesson, another test. We need to remember the lessons w already taught ourselves, the price we paid, and end war already. I heard, I believe our new congressman, saying on the radio that no one wants to avoid war more than soldiers because they know the true cost of it but the existence of soldiers implies we believe war is always inevitable or necessary and it just isn't, we can outgrow it. There is a medium on Alice and she might give Alice the evil eye if she does not take her disbelief elsewhere, as I add this paragraph in - oh, also the 100th anniversary of the end of WW1 was commemorated this month and Macron "called out" Trump and other nationalists for being the opposite of patriots. But no one is really going all out to stop the fascism, yet. And there is apparently a way to talk a good game but still just protect the rich which gets you, and the causes like Environmentalism you falsely claim to support, to be hated by the People. Its okay for them to hate you if you are a false leader but the real problem with "Liberal" leaders who obstruct progress is they make the actual good causes look bad. Like when Obama gave 300 million dollars to a solar company that went bankrupt the next week in order to "show" that Green Energy won't work - they're just protecting the fossil fuel companies long enough to last until Trump took office to Frankenstein the whole evil industry.
Around that same time, mid-October, after work one night, my coworkers and I were watching videos on our phones and one of them showed the SNL "Black Jeopardy" Episode with Tom Hanks, for whatever reason, and for whatever reason I also showed them the Simpson's scene of Flander's parents, the beatniks. Then a few days later, on 10-20-18, there was the rerun of the same SNL episode, I saw that scene and started watching, and it also had Lady Gaga performing on it. And the new Simpsons on 10-18 had a reprise appearance of Flander's Beatnik parents. It was interesting to have seen those before they came on, as a rerun SNL and new Simpsons, but I also had not seen Gaga's performance there, before, so it does seem like I'm getting over this long distance.
I do enjoy seeing these little signs but really I'd prefer doing things that helped everyone recognize these things, a magical duty and chance to save the world in some way, in much more obvious ways than details from TV shows that only I watch.
On 10-15-18 they replayed a Carson from 1988 with Sandy Duncan and the last joke of the monologue was all about the Dukakis / Bush debate - and on that episode he told a joke about the actual news story that Donald Trump had bought an airline and said something like "tomorrow, Eastern Air, in the future, the Space Shuttle" which I thought was a weird presentiment of his presidency and also of Space Force. And of the bankruptcy of Eastern Air? That everything he touches is eventually destroyed? Like that girl in Goldfinger? Another Trump joke he told, in the 80's or 90's, but replayed last week, was about a fragrance someone wore to Leona Helmsley's party where Donald Trump sniffed it and told so and so and it became a sensation - I'm not sure what the connotation is other than it stinks of corruption. I probably wouldn't have felt like mentioning it but the same day on another rerun channel Alf made a Trump reference, too, and it seemed like there was another one, too - all from the 80's. Its a funny image to recall. Meanwhile all these folks are recalling the dignity of Bush, compared to Trump. Looking back on those years like they were somehow "good" compared to now. Anyway. I can ramble on forever but it's time to finish this and get to real work, to real writing.
I have a card I may have already written about, but who cares, this one is all pretty random, from August - on the 15th they showed a Becker where he mentioned beanie baby riots. I made a note of it. On the 14th there was a My Two Dads where I guess Nicole wanted her babysitter to be one of the dad's Lover (? I don't understand my notes) and I guess he is explaining to her that when there is enough love to go around it spills over to whoever is around, that she loves her dad and her babysitter and wants them to love each other - she tells them to "TRY HARDER!", which I love - and she feels bad that the girl dumped him and doesn't want him to resent her for it and at the end he says "We're a set, whoever loves me has to love you, too." and she asks "does she have to love Joey, too?" and he said "...No." in that way he says stuff that is funny. I guess this reminds me of love spilling over and even distorting how we see some things when we aren't able to express it all, when there is "too much to go around" - which "ironically" in a love-starved culture, there is always too much to go around. Even for Joey - especially for Joey, the artist, whom Michael says "no she doesn't have to love Joey" just because he is jealous Joey was always the Hot One.
I'm just going to actually go back over this, believe it or not, and edit some things out that were too personal and ultimately unnecessary to mention. The main message I keep getting is if I'm going to write this much I might as well write books. I like these little quirks but I'm stuck on them long enough, examining these details in the world, in TV and radio, instead of making my own themes and characters and everything in art and stories and songs and poems.
I do feel like, despite my brattiness, Gaga has stayed in my life and come back into my notice even in unexpected ways. I felt a certain magic to hear the news story that she delivered pizzas, it makes what I've been enjoying doing for work seem magically honored, in a way - but it also reminds me I don't want to have that in common with her as much as I want to be a musician, an artist, a Goddess, too - that we all can want that and have our own ways to realize it if we just come to believe in it. Butt I do appreciate her delivering pizzas, both for showing care for the fire victims and magically, for me.
And I hope they not only get back to comfortable living everywhere that is damaged by climate change but we also, all of us, demand that we stop making it worse and actually fix the problem, fix all the problems that contribute to it, with top priority. We can do it, and realize that ending poverty and war, etc, will go along, naturally, with this goal of restoring humanity and humanity's harmony with nature.
Doing the spellcheck I remembered one more thing I forgot to mention, then forgot it again. On Alice she was about to spend $39.50 to buy an anti-hex charm from the medium, Sima, and she tells her son it was in his head that he jinxed himself over tests, psyching himself out. She knows he was studying the presidents for days and so he recites them for her, in order, all the way up to "present", with Carter. "But you forgot Nixon" she said. "Oh, everyone's trying to forget him" he jokes. Alice calls Sima out as a huckster - maybe by the time I write this again we will have called out Trump and destroyed the power Fear is holding over us? Or, imagine, if Trump died today, or whenever he dies - you just can't "gloss over" what he did and focus on the Good Stuff, not yet anyway, since he's been nothing but bad. The best things he's done have been when he undoes stuff. And "the System" does "keep him in check" - somewhat - but allows him to continue without strong opposition just to win points "next time", to be able to promote less progressive candidates, not actually meet folks demands, because the More Evil options are SO evil. We won't let them play these games anymore, though. Remember how long the 2016 campaign was? 2 or 3 years? Do we even have any idea who will run against Trump in two more years time, now? Shouldn't we have MANY strong people to choose from, when the opposition is so fraught with evil? But no they want us to feel desperate enough to go with whoever they approve. We are actually the most powerful ones, we've just been duped into this system. Maybe this gagablog doesn't have the right clues to prove this to you, but I will write it better when I'm living up to my other writing callings and getting this back in tune with Gaga, community, and family of all kinds with whom I've fallen out of touch.
But mostly I need to get back to who I really am, to my true dreams and calling. My love for Gaga reawakened that in me in the first place but there was still a lot of "lesser me" to work through. And I did live up to more of my dreams than ever before with the two Foxzen albums we made, plus I am getting back into writing. I believe in freeing myself and becoming a Way Out for others, too - but it's past time for musing and time for Arting, for magic, in its fuller forms.
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