Third "Shirley" Fairies; gagablog #146

I have to admit I care about this. I was very upset at all the work I lost when my last gagablog was mostly erased, the whole second note-card I had conveyed to here and all the news and old rerun TV and commercial and events in the environment around me calling attention to this fairy magic that appears wherever you look for it and always surprises you, too.

But I am over being sad or feeling bad for all the lost clever phrases, glad I avoided recording some confused emotions, possibly, now that I am in a better place in my heart than I have been, recently. I'm sad and don't know what to say if it had my first reaction to hearing from my first true love after 23 years of no contact - and I know i want to finish the notes even if I don't get all the other references in - on Good Times they are talking about re purposing old clothes as I type this - and I want to "skip" some of those moments, when they happen, but have the TV on just in case.

And I was in a hurry to finish this and write the next one, about gender, and the next one, about Good Government, and then finish Artpop writings, then finally hear Joanne. And I made a good comment, I thought, on a facebook post about differing opinions on whether there are two or more genders: "there are more than two of lots of things" was my first comment, and "but in a better way, All is One" was my following comment - and I think that says it enough, for now, that I can take my time and finish this.

And I'm still not listening to the news, for the last few weeks since my radio in my car shut off, but I don't think i am missing any connections, there, either - but will be glad to note any that arise as I write this. Now for a bowl of Lion's Domain, our first time with Damien Marley's strain.

While I feel a loss at the various random people I mentioned before that work was erased, maybe some spirits don't want to be associated with this and I respect that.

And while I miss the various "proofs" of fairy-media magic that got deleted, my greater goal is liberation - the liberation of fairies and everything else, of ourselves - and I don't really want to be "catching" others in an attempt to liberate the oppressed. I mostly just miss my clever phrases and hope I run across some of them again. I'm taking a walk to the coffeeshop for a date and then will return to complete this, even though is is a beautiful day and I may be tempted to walk on the mountain or play some disc golf instead.

I got an iced chai and a Taste of Denmark cream danish. I did read the paper at the coffeeshop, just some of the front page, about AG Jeff Sessions denying involvement with the Russians in Trump's campaign, and another article about Russian cyber attacks affecting 39 states voting machines, more than previously reported. I haven't heard much about this storyline but know it relates to Reality Winner, from Colorado, who leaked information and they claimed that she intended to burn down the White House, which seems like a ridiculous claim and plan. one more bowl for 4:20.

Since All in the Family was on, I switched to Gilligan's Island - reminded me the last one I saw, while writing the part that got deleted, was about Voodoo - this one is about dousing for water, right now, and sucking pebbles, something my lover learned in the desert and Festus does on Gunsmoke. 8 drops were his daily and evening ration.

pg 3248 - "is it our double?...our manifold wraith?" Whatever I am saying about any of this relates to those connections between things, how we are are reflections of each other, in different ways. And the relation of the magical beings are the same, to us, as we are to each other - we are each other, to consider these "more other" dimensions - and so we see these others in each other and ourselves. Like "aliens" could unite the people of earth, but we will be better off uniting "without" them, or any percieved "threat" from them - on our own - or with them. It's all about leaving behind the idea of the "other" even by finding relations with stranger beings.

3326 - "all the angular movements with which she had vexed the soul of Sam Wynne were conjured to rest as by a charm." This is simply the power of love as magic to hurt when unwelcome and heal when wanted. Gilligan is talking with and following a frog to find water. He got to an underground cave filled with water and thanked the frog, but can't get out  - an analogy for Kekism? "Thanks for the advice but too bad I don't speak frog."

3313 - "..he came back to the magnet, Shirley.." how do they work?

3317 - 'having swallowed his quantum of tea" - as I read "swallowed" Gilligan said "well don't swallow it might be my frog" when the Skipper said "there's a lump in my throat" - he just explained to Gilligan they can't start a fire to dry out the matches when the matches are wet. I noted this originally to note "quantum" and I'm glad the magic is back, now, to echo this writing as a magical act, through the TV, I like that recognition, but wonder what I said, last time - no more, time to write for now.

3397 - "Where did you come from? Are you fairies? I left two like you, one in purple, one in white..." Fairies have abilities to travel that we don't understand, but we know or suspect they can. Purple and white are colors - many of the mysterious tiny lights I see are purple but I might see more white ones but ignore them as "normal." But you never know what can be both.

3415 - "no purest angel need blush to love!" This is a sentiment I believe we all know, deep down, but are repressed and trained to hide and scorn and even act as if we disbelieve it - that everything is purely made of love, that love is what we sense in everything, beneath everything, as the source for All, and we just suffer from the complications of misunderstanding  -or rejecting - this.

I am glad to have heard Tess Whitehurst's recent video about allowing magic to come into your life, allowing the universe to conspire for you, and accepting the help and offers of others more than our pride sometimes suggests we can, to welcome help as blessings and reminders of how good it is for "both" parties  -it reminds me of the uniting power of all forms of love  -all kind actions  -and also of the "drala" definition of magic, from Tibet, i think, that i read about in the Sacred Path of the Warrior. The girl he just met in Happy Days likes the movie because it has a lot of daylight scenes so she can read, poetry, which "gets you where you live" - here, in the theater. He introduced her to Fonzie to fix her car, she asks if she can stay there, Richie offers her to stay at his house.

  3419 - "against my principles to eat murdered animals" Diedre says- "I think she's a beatnik" his brother says, his dad gets mad "she's still a beatnik, I'm not thrilled about having a beatnik in my house!... I don't want any of that beatnik stuff at dinner - you know, bongo playing, (something)  expresso drinking - and i don't want her smoking any of those weird cigarrettes.." "they're called reefers, dear." "I don't think she's a real beatnik, she's using soap" his brother reports. "I thought I'd dies and gone to heaven and the Celtics were in charge" she says about her bedroom. He is reading her a poem now - she loves it. He loves her, i think. "not exactly sick, just a little pregnant" she says. "If you were a beatnik bongo player, where would you hang out?" - "The Purple Ego" - Fonze just scared down a girl to get her to go out with him and it worked - "eye contact."

In Shirley, pg 3419 - "they blaspheme living fire, seraph-brought from a Divine altar." "They confound it with sparks mounting from Tophet!" which from Wikipedia I learned was a mountain where the people sacrficed babies to Baal and Moloch - I read that as Diedre, the beatnik, said she didn't eat murdered animals and went off on that connection. This is about uninspired, repressed people misunderstanding and fearing Love and what is truly divine - magic.

3428  -"Nature is now at her evening prayers..." and this is one of the descriptions and power of the Goddess who emerges many times in this book, they discuss how she is the Divine Eve not the one misrepresented by Milton, etc - things can be better understood, misunderstood, taken into different contexts - great sentiments may be reduced by trying to fit them into misrepresented myths. You can sense the desire for nature, for love, beyond the constraints of society that they still try to justify, can't break out of them even though their hearts may call them to.

3438 - she talks about how Eve gave birth to Titans and he asks "Pagan that you are, what does that signify?" and says she has a "mash" of mythologies. She goes on to describe the Goddess as she saw her on page

George Jefferson, now - "the only way to treat a banker like you, I'm withdrawing you from my house and depositing it in the street...the only way to fight White Power is with Black Power, the militants are right....I don't care what the honkeys think (when she says Lynol  - Lionel? - will prove them right if he loots - "MLK is saying Burn Baby Burn from heaven" she says sarcastically - this is the episode where he gets assassinated.) "I remember the first day I realized I was colored - " "Black" Lynol corrects him - he said he saw a fire truck when he was a kid and told his dad he wanted to be one and his dad told him they don't let black folk on the fire department - but MLK gave him the hope to go for it and change the world in the process. "We've got some difficulties ahead, but it really doesn't matter to me now, because I've been to the mountaintop...longevity has it's place, but I'm not oncerned about that now... I've seen the promised land, I want you to know tonight that we as a people will get to the promised land... I'm not worried about anything I'm not fearing any man" - they ended the episode with that speech coming over the radio  -and there is something about me recording that girl reading poetry in a theater and the rerun of the Jeffersons listening to a replay on the radio, all to be typed onto the internet in 2017.

3444 - she describes the natural formations and phenomena that comprise the image and form of Nature, the Goddess.

3448 - Shirley says she will not go into church but "I will stay out here with my mother Eve, in these days called Nature." She then talks about "when she fell from paradise" and again these most glorious images and ideas suffer from forcing them into lesser constructions but she is addressing that very idea, ironically, when she says "all that is glorious on earth shines there still" (on her brow from which "heaven may have faded." They are sitting in a giant bowl of guacamole in a spa on 227. She wants to be immersed in Nature, with her Mother, and hushes Caroline to hear her as well and they both take to imagining, Shirley entranced and Caroline "dreaming, too, in her own way" (3452) and thinking of her mother - "unknown, unloved, but not unlonged for." Maybe Charlotte Bronte meant this as an analogy for Nature, too - and the longing can lead to other things, with enough attention and presence.

3517 - "Joe looked as if he thought this talk was like the chattering of a pie." This is fairy, like Shopkins and items and food get enchanted and speak, in stories and on Sesame Street and in fairy encounters - and it also stood out because it reminds me of the Simpsons when Homer writes a movie script about a man whose best friend is a talking pie - and Richie Cunningham, Ron Howard, steals the idea and the talking pie is what gets the executive to decide to produce it.

3559-60 "I would walk from Fieldhead to the church any fine summer night, three hours later than this, for the mere pleasure of seeing the stars, and the chance of meeting a fairy." So meeting fairies is desirable like seeing the stars, not to be feared like hazards on the road  -she is declining accompaniment - and in similar conditions, of late night, fine nights, summer, and out in nature. "How many times can we watch Howard the Duck?" Mary is complaining to the cable company on 227.

3593 - "She did not even evade the haunted back kitchen" and concludes that "'There is neither spirit nor flesh in the house at present,' she said, 'which should not be there.'" There are spirits they are fine with, who are welcome, expected  - and all is fine but maybe death is on her mind as she is about to present pistols. It also reminds me of Yo Kai Watch where the kid just gets more and more familiar with interacting with and befriending spirits of various natures and habits.

4163 - "the pure gift of God to his creature, the free dower of Nature to her child. This joy gives her experience of a genii-life. Bouyant, by green steps.." she is at a level "scarcely lower than that whence angels looked down on the dreamer of Bethel" and this fairy - angel, pure love connection is true for all of us, for every being - but Shirley gets to feel it, to bask in it. Earlier today my friend made the joke "Bask in it!" - the nice weather  - like a command, like Patrick tells people to "Look at it!" when he thinks people are avoiding Spongebob because he is ugly, not realizing it is his smell. This is all about how appreciation, attitude, can allow us to rise to different levels, to experience more pure goodness as different "kinds" of beings - but that we can all do this so no creature or spirit is really "lower" than others, all can rise and be happier, more true to our real truth.

4237  - "The girl was no enchantress, and knew no magic spell, yet what she said took almost magical effect on her young mistress." Words are magic but this is also the result of a restored connection in the letter that arrived - the Love Doctor on 227 just told the previous caller that it was okay if her husband only wore the dresses in the privacy of her own home, then correctly presumed that Mary was lacking spice in her marriage because she wore a robe and slippers around the house. "I've got a negligee that will make any man get fresh" Rose says, and Wanda chimes in that hers would raise the dead.  Magic is everywhere but we mostly only recognize it when we are joking or "embellishing".

4247 - "Illusion was following her in Perimask" and gave her fanciful hope of seeing her love - I can relate to plenty of this, this close confidence with Illusion where only she knows my desires and wishes.

4262 - "of the sort called love-ribbon" - I just had to mention this because I love the name, I looked it up and I think it has a satin border or something, i forget, now - about to go to the store so may not even finish this half of card 3, tonight before work.

4273 - "started up like some fairy from the side of the great dame's chair, where she had been sitting on a toadstool..." and she compares Caroline to an angel, saying "if, instead of you, a white angel with a crown of stars, had come into the room" they would not take any more notice (4275) then she says her sister is basically a "robot" (4279 - "aut--aut--" ) for being unfeeling towards her  -so we see how robots are less feeling than humans, who are less feeling than fairies and angels, because when we go the other way, into feeling, we become like them but when we slip into unfeeling we are like robots - today, however, even robots are made to be feeling and even teach us feeling where we have become too "robotic"  - mechanical - by our materialistic culture. But even the "coarser" material of automatons can be the ones who teach us to feel when we have become too wooden.

4295 - "but if you only went on and on, like some enchanted lady in a fairy tale, you might be happier than now." Then they discuss if change is necessary to happiness - yes  - and if it is synonymous with it - (4298) "I don't know; but I feel monotony and death to be almost the same." This is an claim for chaos, change, happiness in variety of experience. "If we all worked we'd have to massage each other" Chrissie just said, which Jack said "has a nice ring to it." Her mom tells Rose that happiness comes from doing her duty (4301) and Rose's reply is that she will stop hiding her talents and Live  -that is the Big Lesson to me, after all, and I'm glad I re-read this, again, for this reminder. There is a bell dinging in Janet's flower shop to remind me, too.

4455  - "affected her like a spell"   to be near him even if they never touched or spoke. Love, magic, is like that and works in all the "other" ways besides the ones we think in - magical ways, so we call it spells even if it is only a simile.

4466 - how "the future" comes to us in hints and bursts.

4536-37  - "Can the dead revisit those they leave? Can they come in the elements? Will wind, water, fire, lend me a path to Moore?" "Is it for nothing the wind sounds almost articulately sometimes...as if for sorrow to come? Does nothing, then, haunt it?" This is how spirits speak to us in nature, and other ways - and she talks about how clearly the wind has spoken to her that she could write it down if she weren't afraid.

4540  - "influences that are about us in the atmosphere.." and "playing over our nerves like fingers on stringed instruments..." how magical influences effect us like music, in the air, playing us like fiddles, etc. - and this is musing about that "electricity they speak of" which makes me wonder, what WAS electricity, at that time, how was it understood? The local news is talking about lightning, now, and it is 9:18 so I have a half hour before I have to go to work.

4541 - just after this discussion of electricity and atmosphere she muses "Where is the other world? In What will another life consist?" This is an intuition of the way all magical worlds are interwoven, including this one, but we do have an idea of different areas and modes of existence, angel, fairy, ghostly, nature.

4629  - "can papa's spirit hear us?" And "love" is the connection she hopes will reach beyond that barrier but her mom replies that it is not Love but forgiveness - and won't love him for all eternity, if he is waiting for her.

4647 - "..to dare to encounter his still finer and most fairy-like representative" how the fairy carries the magic of the beast father and she could not be reminded of him and gave her away. The Fairy could be the sweet kernel of power that can grow monstrous when wild or at odds with the world.

4680 - he names mystical things he would acquire for a woman, "a roc's egg or the breastplate of Aaron, a share of St. John's locusts and honey or the leathern girdle about his loins" but he can't give them "sympathy, sentiment, some of these indefinite abstractions" he "can't do it; I don't know it; I haven't got it." Myth is easier to handle than abstraction and this is maybe supposed to be about gender, too, or at least That Kind of Man.

The last note on this card, this side, is for pg 4686 "Good night, bairnie. God bless thee!" I mentioned this for the "Bernie" reference - now, today's news is about the man who shot up the Republican congressmen's baseball game and was a Bernie supporter and how it brings out the "schism" in Progressives in online conversation. Also earlier tonight there was an episode of Three's Company where they are indignant at Mr. Roper for paying off the delivery boy, Bernie, to tell him that Mrs. Roper's secret admirer is herself, trying to make him jealous. "You payed him to fink on Mrs. Roper?" "Hey, a quarter's a quarter." he says.

I think anyone who really cares and paid attention went right to the Greens and gave up on democrats forever, it's just the media has enough money, the system does, to pretend it is "still going on" but it's over - there are different lines being drawn and soon the Public will realize that it is only the same evil organizations pitting us against each other and only pretending to be "against each other" for theater and to get us to donate to them.

With a a note card and a half to go I realize I can go ahead and publish this - before I felt like the whole process was staving off world war three and it didn't matter how long I took to write it, i just wanted to keep everything "frozen" in time while things seemed so threatening. Since then Trump is praising China and the "investigations" and revelations continue - but nothing seems too close to major changes. So I will take my time and do this in 3 more editions if it takes that, or finish it next time - then one about Gender, one about Government, as promised, and then back to finishing Artpop's songs and finally listening to Joanne, hopefully reuniting with Gaga after this period of pronounced division. I need this love, grace and art in my life again and you can't force greater goodness, only make more space for it.

That is why I am so glad to have heard Tess's video, yesterday, and still have this to write. And I found out, last week, about Tupac's plan to fix the problems in the world, as detailed in a phone conversation a few days before he was killed - there is a biopic about him coming out this summer and I imagine the ideas he was killed for will be revisited - but it reminds me also of my disappointment that Gaga did not support Bernie, the origin of my boycott of all who traded principles in for Hillary, and I realize now they will kill you if you use your power for too Much good, you have to be sneaky about it. I'm sorry for not only seeing it this way and ever taking it personally, Stephanie, and Bernie, too - you didn't sell out, you live to do more good when the world is ready.

Thank you, I hope we can all find ourselves on the same team again so we can save the world together - there is still time while we are here, let's be as present and make the most of it possible, from now on. Let's honor what we may have lost by finding more, others, and making art to preserve the meaning and memory of what has gone and be ready for new connections, too.